Overcoming A Difficulty

Here are three easy steps to analyze, understand, and grow from difficulties.

Difficulties are many in life. Some are really hard to overcome, even impossible no matter how much effort we put in. Some are possible to overcome when we put in the necessary effort and work. I consider difficulties, a game, a learning process that brings growth. As in any new learning, it takes understanding, the right plan, time, patience, practice, and perseverance. Getting over something difficult is no different than learning something new. When we learned to walk as a child, we sure did not succeed at the first few steps. Heck, I crawl long enough that my mom never had to buff our wooden floor for weeks. I found ways to move around until it was time to stand up on my two feet to reach what I suddenly needed to reach!

When we look at a difficulty through the wise mind of learning and helping ourselves, we don't have to put all our attention or focus on the challenge it represents. We can rather focus on the information we need to help us and the multi-steps to take for advancing through our learning. This mindset is different and takes away the negative aspect of thinking something is difficult. Think as something to learn and follow the following steps:

1. Identify the Difficulty

Start by becoming aware and understanding what is difficult for you. What is the one thing that you think is difficult for you? 

Describe the challenge clearly. What is scary and what is not? What is overwhelming to you? Why would it matter to you to overcome it? What would you gain?

As you reflect, observe the body's reactions and the emotions that arise. Just let them be and let go of them. Be mindful not to let them send you on a wild trip of thoughts and emotions. Stop if you do by focusing on your breath and breathing calmly.

Now back to the difficulty. 

2. Beyond Understanding the Difficulty

By now, you should have a clear image of what the difficulty is. Answer quickly the following questions. Don't spend much time, this is made just for you to recognize something about you when facing difficulty.

What would it mean to you to overcome the difficulty?

Is it really difficult or are you overestimating the reality of the difficulty that you have? 

Have you been procrastinating or finding excuses not to work on it?

What have you thought or done to try to overcome the difficulty before?

Would taking a class to learn something helpful?

Do you feel you need support such as a coach?

Now that you do understand what is true and the reality of the situation, recognize such truth. Accept such truth and move on to the next step.

3. Difficulty Remedies

If you feel the need to get help or a coach, do it now. Don't waste time second-guessing yourself. Just do it! If not, let's move on here.

Overcoming a difficulty requires accepting the challenge and finding ways to get over it. If at first, you don't succeed, try and try again. We all heard that, haven't we! Don't focus on the emotions, focus on the tasks and the goal. 

- Gather information that will be helpful to design a plan. 

- Think of possible ways to get over the challenge. 

- Figure something you have not tried yet and are willing to give a try.

- Create a plan with the ultimate goal of overcoming difficulty. 

- Prepare a breakdown of steps with a goal in mind for each step. Each success should bring you closer to the final goal.

- Start with the first step. Once achieved, move on to the next one until all are overcome. 

- If you run into an obstacle to achieving a step, remember everyone does. This is part of life, don't sweat it, and don't waste time being judgmental or playing the blaming game. Re-evaluate if needed or think of another way you could get over it. Don't give up, find a different path. Ask for help, if needed. Often speaking with a couple of people about it, having another perspective, or listening to input or suggestions can be very helpful. Be open to other alternatives that might work for you. Think, what else might you be able to do? 

4. Transforming the Difficulty into growth

- You overcome the final goal. Celebrate your accomplishment. This is fabulous, congratulations!

- You did not overcome the final goal. Remember this. Sometimes we do our best and are still unable to overcome a goal. This happens to all of us and not the end of the road. You should be proud of the effort you put in. You should be proud of what you learned and the growth it brought to you. Yes, you have learned through the experience which has something of value, think about it. The challenge may remain or it may have lost some power over you. Recognize your accomplishment, as it will help you stay motivated to move on to another goal you may now want to pursue next. 

Either way, that is a win. Cherish that thought while you challenge yourself to the next goal that you want to pursue!

Categories: : Coaching Tips